Something random happened...i signed into my old gmail account just to check out my email, and stumbled upon my old blog...I was in the middle of doing homework, but now I can't focus...
The reason is because I read a post that I wrote 3 years ago...and it was about my mom...now as I remember the memory of her during her years of being healthy...i'm crumbling with grief and tears...owh how i miss her so much...
I just want to share what I wrote in 2009, right after I graduated...i just want to remind anyone who's reading this...please cherish the people who love you...please savor every second with them...tell them you love them, or at least let them know that you care..
Mom,i miss you and love you..Al-fatihah...
--------------------
August 7th, 2009
Dear mum,
Today I had lunch with your best friend, Aunty Limah. She brought me to that japanese restaurant in equatorial hotel, and aunty limah ordered me your favourite dish (seafood teppanyaki).
We sat and talked, of course about you. How we miss you so much..and how you'll live in our hearts forever. Dah setahun izza tak jumpe aunty limah, and she hasnt changed a bit. Still as graceful and beautiful as she was before.
Aunty tanye pasal izza, adek2 and ayah. I told her we were okayh, despite the fact that we miss u. I asked her to advise me about what path i should take in the future, i'm so confused right now mum~i wish u were here to tell me things i needed to hear.
We shared our memories of you. I told her how i missed waking up to see you getting ready in my room(i still dunno why u love to use my mirror when ur's is 10 times huger than mine!!~). She told me you were very happy and excited when i started buying and wearing makeup, and dolling up whenever I go out. Something I never knew.
Aunty asked me what i've been up to these few years, how my studies were. She said she's so glad to hear I've been doing fine in my studies, and that if you were still here you would be proud. I needed to hear that so much...
There were so many times I choked up tears while talking about you, it has never been easy. Even after these 3 years. I told aunty its so hard to be the strong one in the family, and that I would often cry in the middle of the night without any reason, just becuase i miss u. Crying and crying in silence until i have no tears left, until i cry myself to sleep. Aunty carressed my hand, comforted me...we both felt how much we've lost since you passed away.
We both talked about how you were full of life, how you still went to the interview for the promotion of being a Prof. a week before you died. You were so positve that you'd live, and I'm confident that there are so many things you would have wanted to do.
After two hours of talking, aunty drove me back to my car. We said our goodbyes, and I hugged her as I would have hugged you..
I miss you mom..
I'll never forget you...
I long for your love, to hear your laughter again, to taste your cooking..
I know you didnt want to go, I know you fought hard for us..
But its okayh mommy..I understand that its your time to go..I know you're watching over me every second..and you'll be in my heart as long as i live..
No one can replace u, and you'll never be forgotten..
I love u Norhayati Abdul Mukti, my mummy...
Today I had lunch with your best friend, Aunty Limah. She brought me to that japanese restaurant in equatorial hotel, and aunty limah ordered me your favourite dish (seafood teppanyaki).
We sat and talked, of course about you. How we miss you so much..and how you'll live in our hearts forever. Dah setahun izza tak jumpe aunty limah, and she hasnt changed a bit. Still as graceful and beautiful as she was before.
Aunty tanye pasal izza, adek2 and ayah. I told her we were okayh, despite the fact that we miss u. I asked her to advise me about what path i should take in the future, i'm so confused right now mum~i wish u were here to tell me things i needed to hear.
We shared our memories of you. I told her how i missed waking up to see you getting ready in my room(i still dunno why u love to use my mirror when ur's is 10 times huger than mine!!~). She told me you were very happy and excited when i started buying and wearing makeup, and dolling up whenever I go out. Something I never knew.
Aunty asked me what i've been up to these few years, how my studies were. She said she's so glad to hear I've been doing fine in my studies, and that if you were still here you would be proud. I needed to hear that so much...
There were so many times I choked up tears while talking about you, it has never been easy. Even after these 3 years. I told aunty its so hard to be the strong one in the family, and that I would often cry in the middle of the night without any reason, just becuase i miss u. Crying and crying in silence until i have no tears left, until i cry myself to sleep. Aunty carressed my hand, comforted me...we both felt how much we've lost since you passed away.
We both talked about how you were full of life, how you still went to the interview for the promotion of being a Prof. a week before you died. You were so positve that you'd live, and I'm confident that there are so many things you would have wanted to do.
After two hours of talking, aunty drove me back to my car. We said our goodbyes, and I hugged her as I would have hugged you..
I miss you mom..
I'll never forget you...
I long for your love, to hear your laughter again, to taste your cooking..
I know you didnt want to go, I know you fought hard for us..
But its okayh mommy..I understand that its your time to go..I know you're watching over me every second..and you'll be in my heart as long as i live..
No one can replace u, and you'll never be forgotten..
I love u Norhayati Abdul Mukti, my mummy...
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